There are some rules I’ve learnt to accept.
- Keep your expectations low.
- Don’t trust father.
- Don’t push your trivial grievances on anyone.
- Everyone has a life to live.
- Hope leads to pain.
- Grow up.
- Be happy.
I struggle with most of those. I just can’t let go of hope even though it’d make my life so much easier. It’s hard to trust someone who has tendency to succumb to such a blind rage where they’re ready hurt their own children to hit someone else and smile 3 minutes later like nothing happened. I find it hard to keep my own worries in even though my sister is jealous of me. She has 1.5-year-old, school, work and a bit depressed boyfriend to worry about while I only have school. I’m scared of growing up because it’s full of responsibilities. And there’s no way I could be truly happy when I’m about to collapse under the weight of my anxieties. I try to pretend my problems don’t exist but they’re always there in the back of my head…
One day 